The MLB Season Wouldn’t Be Complete Without Its Obligatory Food Coverage

As the 162+ game marathon that is Major League Baseball goes on, sports reporters appear more interested in new concession items than the actual season.

Outlets from the established — New York Post: “Yankee Stadium’s New Food Menu is Literally Insane” — to the obscure — The Comeback: “The Good, The Bad, The Gross: 10 Crazy New Ballpark Foods For 2016” — covered the non-newsworthy announcements. Such articles are a strong reminder of the tediousness of baseball for players, fans, and reporters alike.

Getting people to watch a 3+ hour game when a large percentage of the “action” involves players adjusting their cups and chewing gum is hard. And it requires gimmicks. Like the Atlanta Braves’ Burgerizza: a burger with 2 pepperoni pizzas as the buns. Or the Slider Dog: a hotdog topped with fruit loops, mac n cheese, and bacon — courtesy of the Cleveland Indians.

M&R Photography

In addition to these crazy new items everyone is talking about, teams have brought craft beers, upscale menus, and successful restaurants into stadiums to entice hungry patrons to eat an expensive meal while a baseball game is going on in the background. It says something about a sport when you can even eat while playing, and some of the best players are fat. At least items like Porcini Donuts — at the San Francisco Giants’ AT&T Park — will keep fans entertained in between practice swings and the umpire dusting off the plate.

In celebration of this over-indulgence, please enjoy baseball’s anthem — which features a line about food:

“Take me out to the ballgame,
Take me out with the crowd;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
(Or a hotdog topped with Cracker Jack and caramel sauce and wrapped in naan)
I don’t care if I never get back…”